Friday, June 3, 2011
Tornado
Heavy winds whipped through the air making the trees shake and scream for help. Their firm but fragile arms swayed back and forth and their leaves flipped and were pushed through the air if they weren't strong enough to hold on. The wind began to whip faster and stronger as he came closer to the buildings filled with many helpless people. Closer, closer, closer. The trees, grass, leaves, bugs, and birds all quivered with fear as he approached them. Their courage lessened as his grew more and he began to feel more powerful. He was a tornado. Everyone could tell he was coming because of the darkening clouds and prepared for the moment he ran into town and ruined everything the towns people had worked so hard for.
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I liked how you called the tornado ''he'', because it made the fera of the people sound more real. I wonder if you thought about this because of the tornado warning the other week:) and i wish I would know what the tornado does to the town and trees.
ReplyDeleteMARIAH! I always love reading what you write. I like how you described the tornado like it was a person, or at least thats how I took it. I wonder how you come up with such different ways to word things I'm jealous of that. I wish there was more. Peace playa
ReplyDeleteOH MY MARIAH ! I LOVE this! I love reading your stories and this one is one of your greatest, I think. You always know how to put that kinda dramatic affect into your stories but keep them in reality so well! I wish you could have written more. I wonder what the tornado himself was thinking about all of the damage and distruction. Oh, and, by the way. I'm gonna miss having this class with you. Maybe I'll write about peter and how strong he is. And, also, your wording was awesome. How you used better words than some of the things I could think of saying. I love your writing. (:
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you described the tree, and the leaves falling off. You made it sound really realistic. I mean, tornados are realistic, but you get what Im saying(: It reminded me off a guy, who every girls likes, and he's just a tornado, breaking hearts. thats what I first thought of. haha (:
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you described everything. I wish I could have read more. I wonder what next week will be like.
ReplyDeleteWow, great job. I like how you always use a lot of detail in your writing. I wish you had written more. I wonder what is going to happen to those people lives after the tornado, are they going to rebuild or move? Awesome Job. :)
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