Friday, May 27, 2011
The checkered floor tiles
I sit down on the short stool and gaze at the strangely beautiful woman in a dress the shade of the ocean. She catches my eye so I quickly swing my head down to the floor and start to stare at the black and white checkered tiles. Staring too long at the floor I start to get dizzy and a small headache starts to form in the front of my head making my eyes water a little bit. I try and move my eyes away from the floor tiles that are making me feel sicker and sicker, but I can't. I am mesmerized by the look of the tiles and I can't move my eyes away from them. I feel my body start to sway on the short stool but the movement is too little for the lady in the blue dress to notice. I feel myself sway and lean too far to one side and I quickly catch myself with my right foot that slams onto the ground. The lady in the blue dress looks at me noticed something is wrong. She offers me a drink of water but I don't want her to think I am sick. I tell her everything is fine and she goes back to painting on the small canvas that she was painting on when I walked into the room. I try to think back to when I walked into the room but its seems like there is a brick wall behind my eyes that makes it impossible for my brain to see anything that my eyes are seeing. The lights slowly turn black and I feel myself fall onto the floor. The lights begin to fill my eyes again and I see that the lady in the blue dress is gone and has left her small canvas behind. I get up from the ground and when I touch my feet to the floor it feels as if the black and white checkered tiles are waving and covered in a thin layer of crystal clear water.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I like this its a really cool idea to write about. I wonder what would happen if you described the person waking up next. I wish there was more!
ReplyDeleteI like this. I like how you start to talk about a women then you look at the floor and the the story changes. I wonder what it would be like if you added more details. I wish I could have read more.
ReplyDeleteI really liked this! I like how you put so much details in it with the checkered floor tiles. I wonder what would've happened if the women didn"t leave when she fell on the floor, or if she was there.
ReplyDeleteMariah, this was great! The way you made everything seem so real. The details in this are wonderful. I wonder what would've happened if she was alone and there was no one there to ask if she was alright.
ReplyDeleteThis was amazing. I loved your descriptions! I wish I would have understood it better though but i guess thats my fault:) I wonder where the room was and what the person did there. I liked how there was no dialog, even though normally I think things without dialog are boring, but this was good.
ReplyDeleteWow, Mariah this piece of writing was really amazing, you can really picture what you're saying as if you're sitting in the seat write next to the person watching everything take place. I wish that you had written more because what you wrote was very captivating. I wonder if that person has a major disease or was just really dizzy. Awesome Job! :D
ReplyDeleteHmm... I am being drawn into this piece because I am curious, but I feel like it needs more to help sustain my interest. You provide us with the detail of the black and white check tiles, and the narrator is absorbed into them, but there are no more details given of what the narrator sees. I think to further the vertigo effect it would be helpful to add more about what the speaker is seeing. I want to know more details about the characters within this piece and what matters.
ReplyDelete