When Cheyenne was done with her homework at about 7:45, the pre-prepared dinner that her mother threw in the microwave was ready to eat. They both got a medium sized dish from one of the cabinets and filled them with the noodle dinner as the apple pattern in the center of the plate quickly disappeared. They sat down at the circle shaped table in the middle of the room and ate quietly as the apple pattern slowly reappeared back on their plates. It had been almost a year and a half since her daddy past away. Back then things like dinner and life in general were enjoyable, now nothing was the same. No matter how much Cheyenne wished and preyed, her daddy would never come home like she wanted. She was stuck with her annoying mother, not a mom, momma, or mommy. Just a mother.
Cheyenne's eyes started to fill with sadness and sorrow so she rushed to the sink to rinse off her plate before her emotions leaked onto her cheeks. She thanked her mother for dinner and made her way into her bedroom. She slammed the door and threw herself onto her twin sized bed. After crying for 15 minutes, she reached under her bed to find the box to her blue and black nike shoes that her daddy bought her. Opening the box, Cheyenne found many things she had kept from her daddy to look at when she wanted to. Looking at old pictures, tickets to baseball games, birthday cards and a necklace, the tears continued to slide down her freckled face.
This is really good, it almost made me want to cry. I love the way that you write! I liked how detailed it was it had a lot of voice I could really put myself in the girls shoes. I wonder what the rest of the story was, it was hard reading just the end. I wish I could have read the rest!
ReplyDeleteThis was really good. I could picture everything, cause you had a lot of good detail in it. Its like I could jump inside of the girls head. I cant wait to read more! (:
ReplyDeleteHoly cow this a very good ending to your short story :). I can picture like everything and it was good because it's not like boring this actually really happens. I wish that you could have gone on more with it. I wonder if cheyenne is able to cope and learn to like her mom a little bit.
ReplyDeleteI liked this a lot i could really picture the girl. I wish you could have written more. I wonder what the story would be like if you had kept going, like if Cheyenne and her mom would start to like each other.
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